My Life

If you were to ask me now, how is my ministry is doing,I will answer you I do not know.Yes, God has blessed me and my ministry with numbers, the open cell has grown in numbers in the last 8 mths but of these that came, many are what I call half hearted decisions.

Seeing these lives that God has placed in my hands, I really have to thnak God for entrusting these in my hands though I am unworthy to be chosen to disciple them for I am not in any position to be worthy but God chose me.

In these months, I really have to admit, it caused much heartaches and sleepless nights thinking and asking God why did all these happen.Where have I gone wrong?What did I do wrong to deserve all these?Have I not done my part as a Spiritual Father?Or Have I not done enough?I really do not know, but I really feel the great heartache.

Lets start with academic, I started a tuition with them weekly after last year's end of year exam and knew that they are weak and not wanting to study and they just needed help in their studies and my heart is wanting them not just to grow spiritual but also academically to excel as well.But of recent, I just felt that all my heart to teach and effort to help is coming to null as the heart in wanting to study and doing well for their exams is not there.I am just feeling so anxious and worried for their exams but they do not feel the urgency and saying that even if fail also dun care, then why am I doin all these for when I can be doing much more other things and even how much uninteresting the lesson can be, they still need to go thru this pharse of their lives!I do not know what to do
Spiritually, they are least interested when I have my cell with them, yes, the way i structure my cell may not be the most interesting way but that is what they need to learn to go thru of reading and understanding the bible which is a great history book.
I just do not know how, they may not know much but yet can say as if they know so much, that is if you know who I am referring to.THis is just so frustrating.God how do you want me to move on!How pain my heart is.
In recent, many of them just is behaving so odd and unusual, I do not understand why and they not willing to share even when I ask, there is just nothing that I can do and I do not know how, God only u can help and I can only ask you to intervene in it and to soften their hearts.Is this a casue of growing up?Why is this all happening now?I just do not understand why>>>>>>
Why did all these happen?